Watch Me Apply the Pressure, All Decked in Lace & Leather

 

Hi peeps!
So after 45 days of silence, I’m ready to talk about Royal Albert Hall. I made this mini documentary to cope with my post-partum.  As some of you know, 4:06 - 4:49 is on endless loop at work (that’s why i have two desktops) and at home, near my framed Jools Holland band pass and hundreds of lit candles.   (I only take the pass out of the frame during the holidays to hang on the tree. )  Below it, is a little insider's guide to the video.  

 

1)MANLY  WHITE SHIRT SCENE:  Yes, two days before RAH, I got sick. This is like getting your period on your wedding day.  (i imagine) It’s horrible.  Also, not to complain, but here’s something I will never do again : travel Ryan Air with an actual suitcase. When I was coming back to England from Dublin, I had to take things out of my luggage 3 time before it made the weight limit. I eventually was wearing, and I’m NOT exaggerating: 3 sweaters and a coat,  I had my camera and video camera, and various phone, laptop, ipad chargers in MY POCKETS, and a carry-on tote (WHO - except my sister and I use a tote as our carry on)  that was most certainly heavier than my suitcase. I could not lift my tote bag carry on, so I had to DRAG IT (and kick drag, if you know what I mean..it’s the worst & most unattractive & weird) from check in, to the gate.  And when the airport workers asked me to show them my  carry on, I had to lift it, casually, as if it wasn’t filled with 30 cement  bricks.  (Good thing my 8 clothing layers masked my trembling muscles. see, everything does happen for a reason.) Why I’m telling you this, is because the morning after that (and when you see me on the video and I look like an 70 year old man on a couch) is because I could not move my body when I woke up. The soreness was so bad.  All that said, I knew my adrenalin was going to get me though. But the fear before hand was unbearable (mostly for my Hero intern Tom who had to deal with me.)

2) PLAID COAT scene : There was a lot more footage from that, because the walk to the stage door was an eternity. and my sister and I were nervous laughing the whole time.  The sidewalk was very narrow, so my sister, who was carrying my gig suitcase (yes, gig suitcase.. DIVA), had to walk behind me. It made me feel weird. (slash empowered and like a celeb)

3) STRIPED LONG CARDIGAN scene: Sound check. The white haired man who is SWEET AS A BUTTON and wish he could be with me at every gig is Andy.He had to deal with my questions. (ie "Andy, what do we do if i pee myself or faint?".) This was the first time I was seeing the Hall (yes, capital H) and couldn’t talk.  Also, those moto boots I'm wearing are the ones I didn't change out of for the actual show. I was told that if I was going to wear those again at RAH, I should at least clean them.  (Oh well you live you learn) I actually had a beautiful pair of heels to wear, but last minute I said fuck it, this isn't me. actually it was more fear driven- of tripping on cables or very unattractive nervous shaking ankles. 

4) STRIPED LONG CARDIGAN blue lights scene:  This was one of our last songs to sound check. I was so happy I cried. It was as simple as that.

5) BLACK DRESS THAT’S NOT FULLY ZIPPED scene: Did anyone fix that for me before I went on? I don’t think I've apologized to my sister (who literally looks scared of me.. and rightfully so) or Tom for being snapped at and bossed. So I apologize now. My excuse is that suddenly we were on in 20 minutes and I was still in my sweaty old man shirt.. on the biggest night of my life. and where the fuck was my eyeliner and fake lashes? Good thing my sister made us hot toddies, which consisted of hot water (we took the water maker from the hotel, and two little bottles of jack daniels.  No time for luxuries like honey or clove.

6) ALL BLUE FUZZY STAGE SCENE:  happiness

7) BLACK DRESS LOBBY OF RAH: So what you DON’T see, (though I wish we had it on tape) Is:  I really, really did not want to go sign cds, because I was nervous that no one would want cds signed, and I would just be standing there. There wasn’t really a place to stand, but my intern and the women who were in charge of me (if you’re reading, i love you) made me go.  So I’m downstairs in the lobby, hanging out uncomfortably near the area where they are selling all merch. People are starting to sift in, and it’s really, really uncomfortable - if you can imagine:  Me standing there presumptuously thinking people want my big fucking star autograph, and no one is coming up to me to get it.  So I am telling Tom, I can’t do this, this is mortifying, I hate you, I will punish you, etc.  until someone finally approaches me, thank GOD.   So  I’m beaming, taking the lid off my sharpie, confidence starting to build back up, that is, UNTIL HE ASKS ME IF I WORK THERE, CAUSE HE WANTS TO BUY A CD. (i swear if i had been wearing fake lashes as planned, none of this would be an issue. that's why you wear lashes.)  

 

So that's it. That's my big day. Thank you to Jools & his incredible crew for this unforgettable opportunity. His crew was so welcoming and wonderful. Mark Flanagan and Roger Goslyn (both whom I stole from Jools) They are amazing musicians and people, I truly felt supported  (musically and emotionally). And my sis for being a saint that day, making our hot toddies, and her beautiful voice. and most of all Tom my intern for being my hero, and for recording all this footage so I can re-live it, even though he had to go through a lot of abuse in order to do so. (physical and emotional)

Really hope you guys enjoyed watching as much as I enjoyed making.  

XGALIA

Comments

[Dresses]

I got totally lost!! The mot important thing are the dresses, I want to see some photos! :)