I am the worst blogger ever. And I forgot to make it one of my resolutions to be more consistant, so i guess we're screwed for another year. I'd like to discuss the most recent events, mostly so I can process through them myself.
Donegal, December 28th 2013
I had the honor of getting 3 support slots for the incredible, loveable, and brilliant Sharon Shannon and her special guests (Shane MacGowan, Mundy, Wallis Bird, and Tanya McCole). After primarily doing support for Jools Holland for the past years, I felt like I was a recent divorcee going on a first date. It was a very scary feeling to walk in and think- nobody here loves me yet.
But when my *intern and I arrived in Donegal, Sharon and her team COULD NOT BE MORE WONDERFUL. So warm, welcoming, everything you could want from people who don't love you yet. However. My heart sank when I saw the venue. A huge room with no seats, and two huge bars inside the venue. Right before I stepped on stage, Sharon's tour manager Ger, suggested that I tell the audience I was Shane MacGowan's niece. (I'm not, by the way.) John, Sharon's manager, mentioned that this audience was likely to swing on the chandeliers by the end of the night. They were protecting me, because everyone knew. Everyone knew i was totally f*cked. Well, I did it. And I wish I could tell you more but I don't remember it because I blocked out that half hour of my life forever. No one wants a support act that cries backstage, so instead I walked right into the main room, ordered a double whiskey from one of the bars, and cried into that.
Let me tell you the worst part of gigs like this. The selling of CDs. You HAVE TO TRY, OTHERWISE YOU FEEL SUCH GUILT. EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WILL SELL NONE. CAUSE WHAT IF YOU SELL ONE. I sold 4 cds at this show. So that paid for my 8 jameson/tears with ice.
After the show, a very drunk girl called me a bitch and the security guard of the venue tried to set me up with his son, so that's gig number 1, everyone.
So. Night number two. In Derry. AND PRAISE THE LORD IT WAS A THEATRE, A THEATRE WHERE PEOPLE SIT IN CHAIRS. AND LISTEN AND LAUGH AND TALK BACK AND OH MY GOD HUMAN INTERACTION JUST FEELS SO GOOD. I am not sure if it was the low of the night before, but this was one of the best feelinged gigs of my life. I had such a good time and I sold a non-embarrassing amount of cds and my ego slowly inflated back to it's original oversized size.
We had some time before the final gig, when we explored Ireland. HOW CAN ANYONE GET OVER ANIMALS. They don't even need instagram filters cause they are so naturally adorbs!
The final gig was in Cork. When we googled and found out it was not a theater, I immediately started practicing different ways of subtly saying that Shane MacGowan was my uncle, and replaced every tender song on the set list with the fast slutty rock n roll ones.
We got to the venue during Sharon's soundcheck. It filled my heart with joy. At some point before the show, I saw Mundy playing his electric guitar by himself on dark stage when everyone was gone. Also filled my heart. Things might be ok. It was time for me to get on stage when the club was still empty, except for the top balcony. I remember seeing people making out up there. I did my songs the best I could and then I walked off. PS THE APPLAUSE HAD FADED by the time I unplugged my cable, and I HAD TO WALK OFF STAGE IN SILENCE. No, it wasn't the best feeling. But here's the bigger picture.
After that show, I met Sharon Shannon properly. What a shining, gentle, miraculous star she is. Someone who is truly in it for the music. And surrounds herself with the same kind of warm and loving people and musicians.
(Here is me being embarrassing when I met her. I don't know what I was saying or doing. OR WEARING.)
I am so grateful for all three of these gigs, even though 2 out of the 3 were painful. My mentor Ann Ruckert always says, if you're afraid to make a fool of yourself, you're in the wrong business. And boy is she fucking right. I am still learning how to take the hits with grace, because i know it will never end. And that's why it is imperative to surround yourself with the best kind of people, and musicians, like Sharon does.
Speaking of- I am always worried about having wine lips cause I think they are the worst. You know, when someone has a red wine stain on their lips. If you see me drinking red wine, and I'm constantly biting and licking my lips, I swear I'm not trying to be sexy, I am contstantly petrified of having wine lips. Well back at the hotel- on the night that I met Sharon Shannon- I noticed that I KIND OF MAYBE HAD wine lips, it was a little hard to tell bc i had bright red lipstick on as well, but I feel like it was there. This is when i LITERALLY made Tom (*intern) stand as tall as we thought Sharon Shannon was, while I shrieked
"Do you think she saw? DO YOU THINK SHE SAW". I made him test out a few different heights and angles. Poor Tom. I am such a maniac. So yes, Tom makes me feel like I am already surrounded by the right people. (Meanwhile Tom's thinking that he wishes he could say the same about me )
One more thing. Uncle Shane MacGowan and Joey Cashman. I am forever grateful to both of these guys. At the end of that first traumatic night, I stood in the audience while Shane performed one of my favorite songs of all time. I always think about a line from John Prine's song "Angel from Montgomery" when I'm sad about music.
"To believe in this living is just a hard way to go."
Yes it is, and then you hear Shane singing Dirty Old Town and suddenly everything makes sense.
Thanks for listening, reading, supporting, and dealing with me.
PS I don't know how to remove this weird rectangle on the bottom of this page.
*lover who helps me with things