At my gig this past weekend supporting Jools Holland in Brussels, at the wonderful, magical Ancienne Belgique, a stranger came up to me when I was signing cds with a large whiskey and ice. He explained that he had read my previous blog, and told me that I should not have to buy my own after the show.
--And that is when I decided that I need to be writing on this thing much, much more.
There are a few things I'd like to cover in this entry. First of all, do we all know I'm Belgian??? So performing in Brussels was the f*cking bomb? I have to say, it was one of the most fun gigs of my life. I know that the Belgians can be a very dark peoples, but I was ready to body surf this crowd. And speaking of my body weight smashing people, after the show I was on the hunt for Moules and Frites and Belgian beer.
WELL, the next day, when I found a bunch of stolen packets of mayo in my bag and watched a full length video of me dancing braless *TO MY OWN MUSIC in the hotel room, i can tell you, I found the Belgian beer. (and frites) (don't worry, apparently i told the waitress about the stolen mayo before we left "it'sjustthebesti'veeverhad').
Excuse me while i watch the video to see if there's even a snippet or still that's acceptable show you.
There's not, but here you go.
ok so that's Brussels. Amaze.
Oh: here's le intern eating a frite ... and from my perspective.
Then Intern and i headed to amsterdam via one mistake, three trains, and a cab. I've never been! It's amazing! Here's me eating the least convenient travel food ever on our way there.
Yes, there's an egg yolk on that thing, and yes it's being eaten on a train.
Ok so we get to Paradiso, which is such a beautiful venue, and here are things that stick out to me about this gig:
- When I got on stage to perform, my guitar didn't work. Sweetheart Clem, who is on the Jools crew, gave me the "try-plugging-in-your-guitar" gesture from the wings. This helped. In fact, it worked. I'm not exaggerating when I say the crowd actually laughed at me. I wanted to yell, "and i'm not even stoned!!" but I thought maybe the Amsterdammers are sick of 'Mericans coming in joking about being stoned. So instead I nervously stared at Clem for half of my first song.
-When I walked off stage, instead of walking out the exit, I walked into a corner, where I had no where to go except back on stage. So I just stayed there. Clem had to COME GET ME from the corner and walk me to the actual exit, which meant I had to get back on stage. And I wasn't even stoned !!! This section is dedicated to my pal Clem Southgate.
-Before the show, I was told to make myself comfortable in any of the "communal" dressing rooms. Well I found a small one, changed, put my lashes on, drank a whiskey, ate the fruit, and cried my pre show tears in it. It felt like home! After my show, i rushed in to drop my guitar off in there before signing cds , when I saw Jools in there with a bunch of people from the band, and I gave him a handshake (I think i was somewhat normal, and was feeling pretty pleased with myself. I think the last time I saw him, I nervous-hugged him.) and as I walked away I heard a voice tell Jools "I think we're short dressing rooms today" . This didn't mean anything to me, until it slowly started to dawn on me, that, it was not in fact the band in there with Jools, those were Jools's friends. Which means,
It was Jools's dressing room. Not mine.
Which also means he came into a dressing room with a half eaten fruit plate, and (many) empty packets of peanut butter, and now he knows why.
*Note: Jools is extremely gentle and kind,and didn't seem to care, but you can be sure that I'm still having anxiety about this today.
So this was a night full of blunders. But I still had a great time.
Intern and I stayed in Amsterdam for an extra day.
This is my favorite cheese in the world, and Amsterdam had it's own store for it. This is truly my version of the red light district.
I CANNOT BELIEVE. I CANNOT BELIEVE. I honestly was in shock when intern and I went. I am so disturbed and sad and in shock about this. The women literally stand in little windows. There are rows of women. You can SEE A BED behind them. Am I the last to know that it's set up like this? I seriously felt guilty for being there and we left promptly. Are there documentaries on this?? Where do those women go after their work day is over? Do they have boyfriends or husbands? What is price based on? Who decides the price? I thought it was like everywhere else, where the prostitutes are among the non prostitues, But no, they are literally on display.
What else. Amsterdam is so beautiful. I didn't realize there were so many canals n' things. Also, everyone rides a bike. Also, everyone looks much cooler than me, and like they've really been around the block in life.
And for now, that is all.
I am so incredibly grateful for these experiences and for all the amazing people I've met.
And to the sir who bought me the whiskey: you inspired me in just the right way!
This was one of many pirouettes in the video.
Musical theater portion
guys, belgian beer is intense.
"Hey Baby, Whether it's Now or Later, I've Got You (You Can't Shake me) Cause I got you On My Mayo."
So gross, but so amazing, right?